A Time to Live A time to Speak

Monday, July 28, 2008

Seeking Answers

i dont know what happened last night? I dont know who was wrong or who was right? i dont know if i should have asked you to wait or i should have made others wait? i do not know if you think low of me is a sign or a remark? i do not know what if i am here on 30th or not? i do not know if i am here on my birthday or not? i do not know if i want to stay here anymore or not? i do not know if i am hurting you or am i hurting myself? i do not know if i should take my medicines or not? i do not know if i can will myself to smile a fake smile or not? i do not know what to trust or who to trust? i do not know if i have changed or not? i do not know if i have the strength to walk or not? i do not know if i have the strenght to answer the pointing fingers or not? i do not know if i have the willingness to answer questions asked of me or not? i do not know if i seek answers in me or in my surroundings? i do not know if there is a possibility to even explore for the last reserves of courage or not? i do not know if i make others happy or not? i do not know if i am too self consumed or not? i do not know if i am selfish or not? i do not know if i understand my own self or not? i dont know if i believe in my own self or not? i do not know if my questions are more than i can ask or not? i do not know if i want to hear the answers or not?